Conjugial Love
Conjugial Love: Our Path of Return
by Clayten Tylor
Order Print, eBooks @ Lulu.com:
Books in Global Distribution @ Amazon, Kindle, Etc.
Print Book ISBN 978-0-359-47963-4
Ebook ISBN#: 978-0-359-48793-6
Conjugial Love, by Clayten Tylor
Conjugial love is the Divine, as a feeling. It is the spiritual heat and light of every soul. It is the feeling of gratitude to the Universe, together with the feeling of mutual-love to the neighbor. To receive conjugial love requires that we first will the affection of love upwards and outwards. In this way, we expand our sense of self to get a glimpse of the feeling of the four-fold rhythm of Divine order.
Once the sensual rhythm of Divine order has been established as the feeling of love, it purifies our feeling of self of its identification and attachment with the physical body. This new spiritual perspective transforms our sense-of-self from personality to individuality, which then awakens the feeling of conjugial love.
The feeling of conjugial love is our Path of Return. Within the flow of the feeling of conjugial love, we can sense our spiritual self, first as the feeling of profound peace, but then as higher states of love, as feelings of being infinite and eternal.
Acknowledgment
I would like to acknowledge Conjugial Love as the underlying affection of all the other forms of love – and yet – no one ever talks about it.
Preface: Conjugial Love
Conjugial love is the ultimate love experience. It is a “heavenly love,” because it is the conjunction of love and innocence; its innocence makes us feel young again, and its love heals all loneliness. It corresponds to everything sweet and delicious. In fact, conjugial love is the love of all loves. Even its goal is love and abundance for everyone through the feeling of delight. It is “implanted in every woman from creation,” and into her “procreated offspring” (C. L. 400). It is our goodness , which we inherit from the Divine Feminine. No one ever talks about it, because our perception only develops after regeneration, and not many people pass that initiation.
Spiritual regeneration, begins at midlife. It is when we realiz e that we are not happy, and that everything that we have striven for all of our life, does not actually contain any of the lasting inmost delight that we were seeking. Spiritual regeneration shifts our center-of-consciousness slowly from selfish, to less selfish. During that time, we begin to sense conjugial love in our blood stream, first as a subtle affection of delight, but then as a growing sensitivity and mutual-love for others.
With this realization, everything appears the same, except now there is an inner responsive, communication developing. We are now faced with two perspectives, a mind-chatter-self, and a silent-self. In the silence is the sense of peace. When the mind repeatedly turns to silence and is accompanied by the feeling of peace, an inner spiritual relationship forms. The peaceful self becomes the dominant feeling-of-self, while the chatty-self retreats and along with it our illusion of separateness.
Naturally, even just the outer peace from a quiet neighborhood, can make someone who is sick feel better. Yet, without the false feeling of separateness, there is an additional inmost delight that grows and heals everything. When the heat of the soul unites with the light of the spirit in a momentary conjugial love experience, it leaves behind an affection for mutual-love that continues to interact with us in our daily-life .
Conjugial love is worth seeking as a lifelong goal. As a vibration, conjugial love is the only thing that we are, or ever can be. At its core, it is the feeling of being infinite and eternal. It can best be understood if we were to divide it into ten sections or principles. Each principle would represent an individual aspect of the total experience of conjugial love as a particular radiating or contracting sensation. If as an exercise, each radiating sensation gets expanded outwardly it purifies and strengthens the magnetism, which then becomes a reciprocating affection of love.
The secret to restoring conjugial love to its original purity and holiness, is by knowing that it cannot be possessed. We can share it, and have it flow through us, and even be nourished by its essence, but the inmost delight only gets perceived after we radiate it. The influx of conjugial love flowing through us, is purified even more to a blissful affection of love, when we imitate it. We already have the affection of conjugial love in us as an unconscious memory. When we can recall it, and cause an affection of love to flow through us again, then that is restoring the path of return to its purity.
I like to think of the Return Path, uniting the affection of good with the affection of truth, as a flowing willful-feeling in conjunction with a clear truthful mind. Truth is not whether something is believable or not, but is meant spiritual truth, which is spiritual light flowing as an affection for knowing and growing wise. It is the feeling of Knowing. Truth is from good, which is the celestial plane of feeling. Truth on the spiritual plane, is a spiritual knowing, which is a knowing-feeling.
When good gets mentioned, it implies spiritual good, which is doing good, by acts of mutual-love. Whereas, celestial good, is the feeling of being good , by attuning with conjugial love. Together, doing good and being good unite in the affection of conjugial love.
On the spiritual plane, spiritual truth is light; whereas, on the celestial plane, spiritual truth is a knowing. Yet, on the spiritual plane, spiritual good is the feeling of doing good; whereas, on the celestial plane, spiritual good is the feeling of being good itself.
Attuning with conjugial love vivifies the affection for goodness. It causes love to flow through our body, which unites with the affection for truth as a unifying light in a knowing-feeling. By correspondence, good, and truth in physicality get reduced to disorder by the selfish perspective of our ego. Selfishness draws down the light of truth into falsity, and we lose our affection for truth. Without it, we then lose our affection for goodness. Then we perceive good, as lust. Conjugial love is then perceived as its opposite, which is where it stands today. The path of return, is by attuning to the knowing-feeling within, while it vivifies and brings to spiritual life the luminous light.
Our path of return , is the reciprocating feeling of the Divine Feminine . The feminine energy gets stimulated during an experience of conjugial love. She is a collection of all the sensual pleasures that we can experience in physical life all wound-up into one. We are attempting to unravel them into one eternal moment, and then to re-unite them again to gain control over them, and to set us on the path of return.
At first, conjugial love gets perceived as an uncontrollable four-fold pulsating sensual feeling of love. It can be made to course through our body, and eventually expand into a luminous out-of-body spiritual experience. The luminous sensation gets ignited by the affection of mutual-love, also called spiritual love, which is the ability to will an affection of love in motion to others. By willing love, we are willing, the spiritual affection of love, and are acting-out a mutual-love ritual. This kind of ritual is the exact correspondence that can attract the spiritual affection of conjugial love.
Yet, we also want to experience the higher, celestial affection of conjugial love, which is similar to the feeling of gratitude. It is the spiritual affection of love, sent as a thank you to all who have gone before us, which causes a reciprocating affection of love that lifts us-up. The uplifting feeling is the outcome of combining the feeling of mutual-love, the love for others, with the celestial feeling of gratitude. Together, in animated motion they produce an affection for love that radiates both up and down, and in and out into infinity, similar to a conjugial love experience. The reason for this book is that I want the world to know about this kind of pervasive love.
Preface: A New Age
This book gets dedicated to all who search. The reason is, ten years ago I wrote two books about seaweed. At the time there was only two other listings for seaweed, but ten years later, there are millions of listings. It proves that when an idea gets copied or searched enough, it can still spread to influence the thinking of all of humanity.
Search engines cannot tell if something is true or false, because they cannot feel. Truth is just “fake news” to search engines. However, fake news to an algorithm, is what I call the seaweed-beauty impossibility theory. In the same way that fake news gets believed, spiritual truth can also spread through search engines to effect the unconsciousness of humankind. In fact, no one has to actually ever read this book, for it to have the effect of creating a less greedy or less selfish society.
The same way that kelp-seaweed transforms light into a clear transparent elixir that is used to make the most expensive beauty products, the physical body also transforms light into an elixir to make the most perfect spiritual body. The beauty guide was about how to recognize natural beauty-products by how they feel on your skin. This book is similar, in that it is about how to recognize the beauty of spiritual light by how it feels under your skin. When the spiritual light gets mixed with the warmth of love it flows as the elixir of life, an affection of conjugial love flowing from within.
Yet, however reachable this spiritual concept of conjugial love's existence is, it can never be believed, not without the experience. The process of spiritual regeneration enables us to feel this kind of love. Once the spiritual sensations of mutual-love are embedded into our collective subconsciousness as the means to obtaining eternal happiness, then everyone will want to feel this kind of love too.
Yet, if society signifies heaven, then algorithms, signify the memory-knowledge, which hinders our connection to heaven. Computers are all memory-knowledge and lineal thinking. They can never know the essence of a thing. We can also never know the essence of a person through a computer. Since algorithms get made for their own advantage, they need to be regulated. Selfishness will soon fade, and a sharing economy will emerge from the greed. Thus, when “they feel accepted and loved they share everything they know” (6813).
A sharing-economy truly represents the Age of Aquarius. Thus, “the precession of the equinoxes, changes astrological sign every 2,160 years. Today, it faces Aquarius” (Ex. Ad. 519).
It is a new economy, without computer-driven greed and selfishness. Mutual-love will birth the feeling of conjugial love for everyone. The previous Age, was Pisces, 2,160 years of religion, with the ten commandments representing Truth. However, what was not understood, was the reason for the ten commandments was to be able to feel the inmost felicity of Good. Without the inner goodness, the church, along with mankind, has lost the ability to feel conjugial love, to feel loved.
The astrological sign Aquarius, represents a world of community, but a world connected by a feeling. It is the humanitarian or mutual-love aspect within each of us uniting. Aquarius, rules professions that demand creativity and freedom, while incorporating the latest technology; yet esoterically, it signifies the creative power of the reproductive forces that lifts humankind up and out of materialistic enslavement.
It is by the practice of meditation as a regenerative method, whereby the knowledge to be lifted-up is actually obtained. The process is spiritual concentration, when we can stop thinking. It is during the cessation of thought that our old consciousness can be modified to reveal a higher and subtler inmost feeling experience. It is by seeking love this way through meditation that we find this inner conjugial peace.
Inner peace gets attained by prolonged concentration in an effort to control the flow of imagination, while using a purer love as the motivating factor. Inner imagination is our Path of Return, but we must feel it to know true peace, to feel eternal, free from materialistic identification and free from our self-created pain and sorrow.
The Age of Aquarius is a spiritual influence from within. It is a message from the founders of the richest corporations and churches that have ever existed in the world. Everyone who has gone before us is crying now, and asking to make amends. Their message is to give it all away — so that they can experience peace in their afterlife. Greed does not ever rest, it blocks our after-life transition. Even the dead stay emotionally attached to their money, watching it being spent, as their self-created hell.
In Numerology, the names Google 8 8 7, and Amazon 8 8 7, have the same vibration as the name Jesus Christ 8 8 7. They also have the same numerical value as the word suicide 8 8 7. We could say that Jesus' death was kind-of a suicide, in that, He could have lied, and stayed alive. Yet, then He would have lost His inner feeling of goodness, which is our spiritual life. It is this inner spiritual feeling of goodness that is getting measured, and its spiritual vibration is your contribution as a use to society.
Our goodness gets represented by Adam and Eve eating the apple 6 8 5, which is the same value as death 6 8 5, to signify “living for ourselves and the world.” It also corresponds to the word crow 6 8 5, which by animal human correspondence, signifies the “inner crow” as mankind's ego at its darkest state of selfishness. Our “blackness,” is our own ignorance, the falsity that continues right until the death of our self-interest, when we can begin to see the spiritual light.
In this book, we are seeking to see the spiritual light, to become intuitive, creative and spiritually alive by the practice of willing love. When we can will-love, it causes all memory-knowledge to become redundant, the mind goes quiet, and we are lifted-up out of the pull of the mass mind. Willing an affection of love, creates a spiritual light-body that draws less-pull from negative gravity, which makes us feel younger; and the less pull from the collective mind-chatter, makes us feel to be lifted-up.
Preface: Memory-knowledge
I never wanted to be a writer, I only wanted to share my ideas. I was such a bad speller when I was young that even my older brother discouraged me from putting my thoughts on some paper. I could not see the point in memorizing facts that I would never use, or words that had no logic to how they were spelled. When I did get the courage to show my brother some of my poetry, it came back with the spelling mistakes circled in red ink. Not surprisingly, he became a high-school English teacher. Yet, I continued to question the point in memorizing useless facts.
Thus, “logic, draws down the understanding into the dust” (Exp. 3348, 4658).
Spiritually, a “brother” signifies the “neighbor,” but also memory-knowledge. Siblings and neighbors are our first interaction with others where we can demonstrate the use of our memory to prove ourselves and establish relationships. It is our interaction with others by the use of our memory-knowledge that we truly form sibling-type relationships base on mutual-love, and learn about good and truth.
Thus, “brother signifies the affection of good, and sister the affection of truth” (A. C. 2139).
The goal of education and the use of its memory-knowledge ultimately leads to faith, and then to charity, which is a form of mutual-love. The affection of charity is a form of mutual-love, which is the conjunction of the affection of good, with the affection of truth as the feeling of faith. Thus, “its first offspring, or firstborn, is faith” (338).
With faith, the inner goodness of mutual-love develops in our character all of our lives. It is tested as to its strength, which begins with our love for our siblings, and our neighbors. Mutual-love is spiritual love, and the term “brother” represents the goodness of a mutually-loving relationship. Yet, to be principled in the goodness of love, we need a conscience, which is the feeling of being watched by a “sister,” otherwise called, the affection of truth. Without the two together, they are both out of balance.
I first encountered the nature of the number five (5), from my sister. She was not principled in the affection of truth, and therefore, she represented the demanding, willful and bullying nature of the number five (5). Yet, it must have been the same antagonism that Adam encountered with Eve 1 4 5. Their union signifies the “church,” and Adam symbolizes man, whose numeral symbol is also 5, the number of religion. Thus, “man and Eve his wife is signified the Most Ancient Church” (338).
Yet, it is this discrimination between opposites; between Adam and Eve, brother and sister, which leads to a conscience, and then to the knowledge of good and evil, and finally to the feeling of the inner church. The number five (5) signifies both prudence and foolishness. As an odd number, it is feminine. It is the power to join good and truth, which is the purity of conjugial love that we are seeking.
The “finger of God signifies power” (7430); and each hand has five fingers. When joined together they make ten, which is an even, masculine number, as the power to join differences. The “ten fingers signify all things terminated in ultimates” (A. E. 675); thus, five-pointed “stars signify the knowledges of truth and good” (A. R. 51).
The words Sister 5 4 9, and Brother 2 3 5, both contain the number five (5). It is a number that can feel very pushy. Yet, it is always our own fear that gives our sibling their strength against us. Thus, “enmity between evil and good has been provided to prevent the possibility of their being mixed together” (2269).
In some Astrology, it is thought that close relationships bring together adversaries from previous lifetimes. A strongly held emotion can cause someone to return in this lifetime to complete some unfinished pattern. Imagine a family member or partner believing that they love you, but not knowing why they are jealous or want you dead. This is the willful nature of the number five (5), when it is deeply hidden.
Thus, “the less genuine and pure truth is, the less is good able to be accommodated. For they must each answer to the other; and to the extent that they do, they are joined together” (2269).
The word brother 2 3 5 has the number two (2) on the top. The number two (2) is the number of memory-knowledge and of association, by which we become duplicitous, deceitful, two-faced liars. This is the result of using our memory and knowledge for personal gain, which is when good and truth are not in balance.
Yet, if we transform the willful (5), dishonest and plagiarizing (2) aspects of the term brother 2 3 5, it is the same vibration as the word, Celestial 2 3 5. This means that memory can evolve from copying others and fact-collecting, to analysis, and then to faith and charity. The intelligence of the number two (2) evolves to become wisdom, and the willful nature of the number five (5) develops intuition, which causes it to spin and radiate light like a star to guide us.
Therefore, when the spiritual aspect of the number five (5) is expressed mutually as brotherly-love, it becomes the reciprocating feeling of celestial love. The number two (2) would then represent the consent or the understanding association of faith and charity. These two principles of faith and charity are necessary affections, which incite the motions of the giving and receiving of conjugial love.
Preface: Inmost Delight
When I use the terms brother or sister, I am referring to a term of brotherly love, as the inner spiritual happiness that results from feeling like a true brother or sister. We must try to re-ignite that spiritual feeling of an inner brotherly sisterly love, because it develops into a love that is mutual.
Brotherly love develops into mutual-love, which is the result of a conscience. Most people without a conscience are immature and sour — their outer self demonstrates the appearance of happiness, while their inner self is all “sour grapes” and self-love.
It is this inner “sour grapes” that hinders the influx of the inmost felicity, which accompanies being a true brother or sister. Without this inner delight, we are doomed to just pretending to be human, while still being mere sensual beasts, no longer able to feel mutual-love, and therefore, unable to free ourselves from our own sensual collective prison. Thus, “at the present time the sensual with man is not regenerated, but the man, when he is being regenerated, is elevated from it” (7442, 7443).
It is the spiritual vibration on the inside of us that gives us the ability to experience the interrelationship of human consciousness in nature, and to experience the feeling of living spiritually. This spiritual vibration is the only thing that can sweeten the sour grapes within us. Thus, no matter how much of anything we have, “true happiness, true peace, true innocence are altogether Divine” (342).
Most humankind, thinks that the feeling of happiness and peace are obtained from things outside themselves. I used to think so. The mutual-love of mankind, is an inmost feeling of love. It requires no outer act, at least no outer act that anyone else can see. It is the vibrating feeling of mutual-love expressed in our deepest feeling of self that pours out as a spiritual substance to the universe. This spiritual substance flowing through us is the delight that makes us actually feel better about ourselves.
The inmost delight that I am talking about is a feeling of being loved from the inside out. It is experienced by removing the selfish feelings of self-love, which reveals the spiritual feeling of conjugial love. It is experience that will set us free to love others as ourselves, and to bring the Age of Aquarius into being here and now.
Conjugial love, is the “conjunction of love and wisdom.” A spiritual feeling makes the conjunction. It is not a feeling that the average person can experience. It is a celestial innocence, higher than spiritual love, which is called mutual love. To experience spiritual love, we momentarily give-up our sense-of-self. The experience eliminates the feeling of separateness, since conjugial love also binds us together as One. It represents the inner church, connecting everyone under the spiritual feeling of one love. It is often experienced as the feeling of a spiritual church, because of the faith that is felt from its support, and the feeling of charity that is felt by sharing it. Yet, it is still only a higher feeling of true love; for love without truth, is lust.
There can be no personal gain or self-promotion in the feeling of spiritual love. Even, conjugial love, is experienced by sharing, by giving it away freely. This is not a U-tube promotion experience, or a new song lyric for your latest hit, this is the Divine loving you, and you, loving the Divine: a feeling to develop, while you can still sing.
Yet, it is impossible to perceive this inmost felicity of conjugial love until after midlife. Therefore, you had better live that long if you want to know the self-less feeling of freedom that I am talking about. It cannot happen before then — trust me, if you think that you are an exception to this rule, it is just your ego dreaming. If you still think so, then write your last will and testament now and give everything away, for “spiritual love is love towards your neighbor” (A. R. 420).
In a sense, we are learning to love, by giving it all away. Yet, right now, we are only learning to give it away as a feeling, to feel the freedom of living like a millionaire without the “ambition of Adam.” The first step is to practice being rich by not thinking about money ever.
Similarly, in the late 1970s I stayed in a friend’s Beverly Hills guest house in Los Angeles, and drove his new Mercedes. We were on a Hollywood party invitation list, and our own house parties went on for days at a time. I kept to myself most of the time, but wow, what a life. I lived without the responsibilities or difficulties of owning money, and without withdrawing from spiritual aspirations. Yet, what made me feel like a millionaire, was that I never had to worry about money.
Philosophically, when society can eliminate the collective feeling of want, by supplying everything that someone needs in the way of material things, such as food, clothing, and shelter, it will be a better world for everyone. This was the moral duty of the churches, which is why they were given their tax-free status. Yet, they have been neglecting their responsibilities to the poor, in place of their own greed. Their tax-free status should be withdrawn. The word tax 1 8 9, is all about giving back (9), which is the number nine (9). Thus, to “tax, are meant those who serve” (6394).
The best way to experience the inmost felicity of conjugial love, is to serve others by allowing the feeling of love to flow through us to others. It causes the spark of love within us to grow as an affection of giving. Money can also teach us the same thing, especially, if we are winning, and can also give. Money can also teach us after we are dead, especially, when we have to watch how other people who have inherited our money, spend it.
The feeling of mutual-love is a giving-feeling, which must be established as a feeling before we die. It includes paying fair taxes. Paying taxes is the only real way to go to your grave having the feeling of “those who serve,” because the spiritual feeling corresponds to be caring and responsible for others. Note the same vibrations between the words, wealth 6 9 6, taxes 6 9 6, and being holy 6 9 6.
Thus, “public obligations that are related to goodwill are primarily the paying of taxes. Spiritual people pay taxes in a spirit of goodwill” (T. C. R. 430).
Introduction
I started writing this book twenty years ago, but I got sidetracked while I wrote The Seaweed Jelly-Diet Cookbook Guide. At that time, I was originally writing a book based on the Moon through the signs of the zodiac, in regard to eating and dieting. When the mind falsely equates being full, with being whole, it begins to substitute eating food in place of spiritual nourishment. I was looking for a food to neutralize the food cravings so that the psychic hunger-feeling of eating could be better understood. Especially since, food is the bait used to obtain the necessary alchemical ingredients to form the spiritual body, which gives us the ability to perceive conjugial love.
Thus, “the human body, and in particular the human brain, has been created and furnished as a laboratory for liberating such inmost things of nature by a digestive process. In the cortex of the brain, which contains innumerable organs for distilling this elixir of nature, that process gets completed, and the finest and inmost of nature thence flash into the entire body as a life-blood of exquisite power, a 'spirituous fluid,' an inmost natural organic, the messenger, and tool of the spirit itself” (M.B. 654).
The kelp-seaweed drink used in my seaweed diet book was to satisfy the food cravings quickly so that the psychic energy previously used in the preparation and the enjoyment of the food could be immediately transformed. How it works, is that if you could somehow satisfy the food craving instantly by eating something that would just fill-you-up, then you would be full, but spiritually unsatisfied and still wanting. Not knowing what to do with the extra time and energy, you would feel perplexed and perhaps bored and without a purpose. It is this perplexed, bored, wound-up psychic energy that we will be working with, in this book. We will transform the energy into the feeling of the “spirituous fluid,” which is needed to perceive the heavenly feeling of conjugial love, when it starts to move around in the blood stream.
It is the wanton psychic energy that must first be expressed by living a full and complete life. This is done to come to realize that desire can never be satisfied. Living a full life, means staying alive. However, living a long life is not always a guarantee. We are not promised a tomorrow, which is the condition of living. The feeling of conjugial love gets hidden by the temporary affections that have become habitual. You would think that knowing that most desires are temporary, would be enough for humans to look for something more permanent, something eternal. Yet, we must want fullness, to feel an expanded consciousness.
Living in a physical body gives us the opportunity to have an awareness of a spiritual life. Yet, how do we learn to perceive a spiritual life? Certainly, by reading something profound, our consciousness gets awakened, and because of that, our consciousness can expand into the feeling of truth. The feeling of truth, particularly, when it is perceived as spiritual light, is felt as a knowing. When it comes from within as a spiritual influx of light, it can be both seen and felt as something Divine — this is what is meant to have a spiritual life. Thus, “spiritual light does not pass through spaces, like the light of the world, but through the affections and perceptions of truth; therefore in an instant to the last limits of the heavens” (M. B. 658).
This is the true purpose of living in a physical body, to come to know that we are all children of God. So take note, this is the first self-righteousness test, for to “know thyself” is to know how to satisfy our wanton feeling. Desire must be satiated, but not suppressed. Yet, ruling the desire nature cannot be done alone, thus, “interior righteousness is meant, in which man is principled who is in the Lord” (D. L. 84).
During regeneration, it is only from the pain, depression, and loss that results from the misuse of our desires, do we turn for help and surrender to something higher. It is our incessant “wanting” that we understand. Thus, “only by regeneration, when he realizes that the influxes, which cause his moods, his longings, his will, are not his, can he begin to become free, become something of his own” (S. D. 2043).
It is when our wanting energy is made righteous through the temptations and combats of regeneration that we begin to feel the spiritual church as an inner sense of peace. Thus, “righteousness is predicated of the good of the church” (A. E. 455).
Think of the goodness of the spiritual church as meaning being able to stay in the eternal moment, by being in the feeling of the spiritual church of love. Yet, to be in the celestial church, which is the righteousness that we are talking about, is being in the esoteric feeling of the celestial church. Thus, the esoteric feeling is the inmost principle of the celestial church. It is the “bait” that brings the feeling of conjugial love down into physicality, down into the Eternal Moment.
Some think spiritual awareness is brought about by having faith. Spiritual awareness is the result of spiritual light, which is formed in the upper intestines of the stomach. It is the result of eating the “apple,” which begins with the right selection of food, and its proper mastication. It is by mixing food with our saliva that has been created while our mind is without mind-chatter, which forms the spirituous light of love. Thus, “whatever takes place in the mind, takes place in the saliva; and, which make the saliva a medium of contagion; an intimate, indwelling power” (A. K. 71, Wilkinson).
The word God 6 2 8, is the same vibration as the word, eat 6 2 8. Eating is a combination of saliva mixed with food into a chyle substance, which is absorbed into the blood through the upper intestines. When the process gets made spiritual, it produces the purer magnetic substances that create the feeling of the spiritual body. Thus, eating 6 5 2 is also wisdom 6 5 2. In a sense, we are appropriating the substances that will transform us to be able to perceive the feeling of conjugial love.
The gnawing desirous wanton feeling of hunger represents the spiritual process. Desire is the way humanity, gets made spiritual. It is when we cannot overcome a desire that we ask for spiritual help to change our ways. Then we “perceive, instead of bread, love to the Lord, and instead of wine, love toward the neighbor; and then we are in thought and perception like that of the angels” (3316).
Author's Rant
I intentionally say things in this book to draw out the feeling of self-righteousness, which has hindered our spiritual development. Swedenborg calls it the “selfishness in the intellect,” which we inherit from our father. It is our selfishness that attaches to the memory-knowledge, which creates the false identification of our ego. Thus, “it is because of this falsity that many evils well up” (5758).
Self-righteousness is the “inner crow” that identifies with memory-knowledge as something as its own. It is accompanied by the need to be right, even if we are wrong. Being smart becomes our way of feeling loved. Self-righteousness happens when we identify our ideas with something that we can claim as our own. Self-righteousness only raises its ugly head when we do not understand something. It causes a feeling of not wanting to appear ignorant, which results in the feeling of pride. Pride is when we finally do understand something and then identify with it as our own. This ownership is what causes us to identify with our personality, which results in our feeling separate.
Pride is the feeling of ownership of our ideas, which arises when there is a threat to our intelligence. The feeling of pride quickly closes-off the mind to the flow of deeper truth. By acknowledging self-righteousness as being a selfish prideful feeling as the negative identifying aspect of our personality, a new spiritual feeling of self is revealed. This higher self is our individuality. It is able to separate itself from the mass mind of humanity. Our individuality can receive conjugial love, without any self-identification. This new state of mind is the path to Wisdom, and our path of return.
Let us be clear, “intelligence is not wisdom, but leads to wisdom” (1555). Thus, “intelligence has respect to truths; but wisdom has respect to good” (1458).
The definition of the term Wisdom is when our personality stops identifying with its changing opinions and ideas as its own. When we no longer plot to gain personally by what we read, and no longer are offended when someone assaults our beliefs. Wisdom is the feeling of self-righteousness transformed into an inner knowing. This inner knowing gets made from the wasted energy of defending our position, our ideas, or opinions. This wasted energy gets saved and stored-up as goodness for later.
Self-righteousness gets attached to our personality, because we identify with our ideas and opinions, which are only temporary. That attachment causes feelings that create stress. When our personality detaches from the stressful feelings of identifying, our individuality within our personality gets perceived as a feeling that is spiritual. Yet, to understand anything spiritual, also requires detachment.
Thus, “every man has the ability to understand truths, and even to see them; but that nothing except a love of truth for the sake of truths causes a man to understand them” (Ap. Ex. 832).
Our personality, has been created by the feeling of attachment. The feeling of attachment is the feminine aspect of love. It is the “selfishness in the will,” which we inherit from the cosmic mother. It is the feeling of the Divine Mother that comes through our biological mother's love and gets attached to our body as its own.
The Divine gets attached to a form, by the feeling of love. This feeling of attachment causes us to feel separate from others, which creates the love of ourselves, our self-love. This separateness is our hereditary evil, which is our hell. The Divine, magnetically gets attached to everything it loves; and through “eating the apple,” we happily become lost in the feeling of the garden of sensual delight.
The feeling of being attached to a body causes a separate feeling of self, but also the feeling of being separate from others, as well. We feel this separation from others, because of this false affection we have for ourselves.
Self-love feels separate, but it is also the feeling of loving only ourselves. Self-love is the psychic effort-feeling of our body. It is attached to our body as a feeling of effort, by the motion of the will. The will, is constantly desiring and searching to attach itself by love. It first identifies with ideas and opinions, which helps to form its self-love. Now, it has a lot to lose by not maintaining that falsity. The falsity is only our feeling of separateness. It keeps us at odds with the spiritual feeling of our true self.
When our sense-of-self is purified of its false identification and attachment, there is no longer any separateness as we perceive a higher vibration of love. This inmost feeling of love is a celestial feeling, which radiates from within. It is beyond the understanding of a vengeful person. This radiating celestial feeling of love is infinite and eternal. It is the Divine calling us through the corporeal sense of self, as the feeling of conjugial love. Yet, to experience it right now, you would give everything away in gratitude.
Gratitude can make us feel richer, but it does not make us spiritual. Using spiritual tools such as acting “as if” to gain materially, is all-good, in that, at least it leads to faith in yourself. Having more money is not the faith that we are discussing. Hoping is not faith; faith is a higher knowing, a higher good. We are seeking a higher good, which is beyond the feeling of self-interest, although the rewards are as great.
Let me explain further: to act “as if” to manifest something that you desire in the material world by pretending that it has already happened, as a premise, is a very basic kindergarten level of metaphysics. Although it will happen, as everything temporary, manifests by this means, it will never manifest the more permanent, spiritual feeling of happiness that we are seeking. More money and more fame are temporary, and they can never make someone feel more spiritual goodness.
By acting “as if” to manifest material things, is just telling your subconsciousness that you are a good liar. This is how metaphysics works. Yet, no outer worship can ever change our feeling of self. We cannot ever buy the inmost felicity that comes from an influx of spiritual love — that requires an inner kind of worship.
It is only by appearance that outer worship, such as for money or things, can bring the feeling of love that we are talking about here. Conjugial love is not personal, it is cosmically universal, it is the “apple.” Thus, “mammon of unrighteousness, in the spiritual sense, means the knowledges of good and truth, which the evil possess, and, which they use only for procuring wealth and dignities for themselves” (D. P. 250).
Acting as if, is not the same as feeling as if. By feeling as if produces action without any feeling of effort — an effortless action. If we were to apply this technique spiritually, we would will-into-being by a mere suggestion, the feeling of being eternal, and in our next lifetime we would come back born into wealth as a prince or princess.
The feeling of conjugial love, is in a sense, an eternal feeling of a future love. The seed of the apple, represents the eternal aspect of this inner goodness. It is this inner goodness that changes our feeling of self, and thereby, our intention. To an apple, spiritual regeneration starts as a bug attack against its skin. Our personality cannot understand spiritual experiences either. Spiritual understanding requires that our desires be purified of self-love. By being human, our desires are always for personal gain. Yet, everything that we are, is from someone else. The desire to attach ourselves by love to someone or something is also not ours. The attaching and identifying principles are also from conjugial love, which has become our way to feel loved.
Once our self-righteous response has been transmuted, in that our personality no longer closes off the mind to understanding after an assault to its intelligence, then a new concept of self, beyond intelligence, is revealed. It is a new selfless desire, an inner goodness as an expanded feeling of consciousness — it is a sense of individuality.
Once that additional difference between personality and individuality is recognized, the selfish will of personality is transformed into the self-less Will of the individuality. Self-love no longer feels separate from others or seeks to gain outer fulfillment or honor. Self-love begins to give of itself. Yet now, it gives invisibly, from an ever-renewing source of inner goodness — the desire to give is from feeling loved.
This esoteric feeling of being loved, is from the Divine, not from money. It has been veiled from humankind, because it has never been defined. It is invisible, which is the reason that the Divine, cannot be named — because it is a Feeling. Yet, by calling the Divine Name, the Feeling means that it has now been named. Thus, “God's true name, YHWH, does not chiefly denote power, but Reality or Existence or Being. YHWH means, 'Who is Being' or 'the I Am'” (A. C. 7636).
When the Divine will, becomes a stronger ruling force on earth as mutual-love, is when the feeling of conjugial love will unite us all as one spiritual feeling of love. The spiritual feeling of Oneness is here now. It is without the separating feeling of gender. It is an aspect of our true one self, beyond personality, beyond self-righteousness. It is brought here now, only when it is passed-on as the spiritual feeling of mutual love.
Our personality contains a self-righteous feeling, which must be detached from the mass-mind. Each time that we use our judgmental mind, and sense self-righteousness welling-up within us as a feeling, even while reading this book, make a note of it and put it aside. We need our individuality of the rational mind to understand spiritually. Our ego closes off the mind to higher truths. Thus, we must first build the layers of a purer truth that make up the feeling of the light of our spiritual body.
To receive the truth in this book, as Wisdom, is only if it instills a sense of knowing. From within that silent knowing, we can perceive an influx of the light of conjugial love. It is this in-fluxing innocent feeling that we are seeking. It flows in the opposite direction to our usual feeling of the self-righteousness of our judgmental mind.
Therefore, to discover the feeling of conjugial love, requires recognizing our own self-righteousness. It is both the identifying-with and attaching-to principles of love. There are no feelings of identification or attachment in the feeling of conjugial love. The celestial feeling of conjugial love comes about by willing spiritual love, by sharing it freely. It is God's love for mankind. Thus, “merely thinking good, and not willing and doing it, does not constitute good with anyone” (Ap. Ex. 458.2).
The celestial feeling of goodness is Righteousness. It flows in the opposite direction to our feeling of self-righteousness, our self-love. Spiritually, when the feeling of good flows outwardly to the universe, the celestial good is born as a spiritual knowing. This new spiritual feeling, takes over the old judgmental feeling and becomes the flow of celestial good, which causes a conjugial love experience with the Divine. Thus, “righteous signifies the good of life and worship therefrom” (Ap. Ex. 619.14).
The “good of life” is the erotic feeling of conjugial love, which flows through everything. We can be taught to perceive it, and thereby, feel it. Yet, we must grow our capacity to receive it. Yet, not by any outer action. It is by an inner action as a spiritual feeling that is the signal to the subconscious mind that acts as a suggestion, which then begins to build the capacity to love, spiritually.
We must first push through the thoughts of hatred and revenge that come through the mass mind. We must recognize the principles of identification and attachment, which cause our judgment and self-righteousness. These forces are magnetic, which create negative thinking that hold mankind in falsity. Yet, there is still good in humanity, but the falsity that causes our judgment, must first be purified.
Thus, “righteousness is predicated of good, judgment of truth” (2235).
We are in a sense, transmuting the cosmic memory of mankind, merely by associating all of our thoughts as negative or so-called evil. Thoughts from the memory of the mass mind of humanity are the “evil” that we are trying to overcome. Thinking pure thought, is our path of return. It is a mind, free from all thoughts, free from planning, free from thinking, free from the vibration of our name.
We are seeking to free ourselves from the mind-chatter of the mass mind, the self-conscious judgmental mind that makes us feel separate. The mind-chatter is our hereditary evil, especially, from the perspective of our true Higher Self, which is Silent.
Annoying Quotations
If you are accustomed to reading the Bible, or any other spiritual writings, then think of that time spent reading, as the time when you are thinking spiritually. Also, when you are reading the spiritual quotations of Swedenborg's writings in this book, think of it as a way to practice thinking spiritually. In this way, you can become familiar with the actual esoteric feeling, which accompanies thinking spiritually.
When I talk about thinking spiritually, I mean when we have to focus our concentration fully, to be present with all the outer sense distractions halted. This is the focus needed to imagine spiritual concepts, before we can believe in them. Thinking spiritually requires concentration and imagination, which holds our mind silent. It is by the use of this self-limiting focusing ability that we can come to understand spiritual concepts as a celestial feeling, as the compression of thought.
All of life's experiences teach us to focus and concentrate outwardly by the principle of our affections. Love is this life's experiences as a “use.” Love is the focusing power of imagination. We must love, to be able to concentrate. Thinking spiritually, by reading spiritual quotations helps to concentrate. Yet, to actually love whatever we are concentrating on, leads to wisdom. Thinking spiritually, is to love wisdom, which is a knowing. Spiritual knowing, is a silent feeling when something rings true, which is then accompanied by the feeling of spiritual good.
It is not so much about what a quotation means spiritually, but where the meaning can takes us. By reading the quotation, is a way to read religious doctrine without actually reading the Bible. By reading spiritual quotations, and understanding ideas that are spiritual, raises the psychic energy into the brain, which thereby, stimulates the necessary glands that then begin to vibrate at a higher frequency. The cortical glands that correspond to spiritual enlightenment, are gently stimulated by reading spiritual writings, by focusing our attention away from merely physical sensations. Thus, “the head signifies wisdom originating in love” (A. R. 823).
Think of reading Swedenborg's quotations, as doing Yoga for the Western mind. When you reach that higher frequency of conjugial love, and you feel impelled to radiate a spiritual feeling of mutual-love to others, is the purpose of all spiritual writings. This is how we learn to believe. Yet, first, we all have to learn how to believe.
The Age of Aquarius, as a spiritual concept, is not asking us to believe in God, only to believe certain things about a God, about a Creator, to feel better about ourselves. All concepts of a Divine, are principles that apply to our sense-of-self as it evolves from personality to individuality, and then into the realization of a unity, as a conjugial love experience with the Divine. The experience of conjugial love brings us closer to understanding certain things about the spiritual Presence of this feeling of unity. To begin the Path of Return, we must first prove to ourselves the spiritual concepts that lead to the feeling of faith.
Three Wise Astrologers
I must smile to myself when I see a new client leaning forward in their chair in anticipation of me predicting their future. I always say, “oh please, do not give your power away to me.” I explain that I am an esoteric astrologer, which is ancient psychology, trained to use divination only to arrive at a spiritual diagnosis. Personal problems are a reflection of an inner spiritual feeling of self. The self predicts itself by how it feels about others. Thus, “predictions concerning the future, even when delivered by the evil, are from the divine” (3698).
In a preamble to an Astrology reading, I tell my clients that it is more important to know how they feel about any circumstance. It is the feeling that keeps circumstances repeating themselves. We talk about the aspects in their birth chart, patterns that may need to be examined. When studying a birth chart, I can see things that would take years for a psychologist to uncover. Astrology gets to the heart of things, for it knows that “external things only represent what internal things contain” (A. K. 71), and “when a similar affection or love returns, the thing itself recurs” (3336).
I tell clients they can rise above any negative aspects in their birth chart. Nothing is set in stone. I tell them not to believe anything that does not feel right. Sometimes a birth time can be wrong. A reading is only as good as the Astrologer. An esoteric astrologer “becomes” the client, and from that vibration, can better guide the conversation. My goal is to introduce them to a spiritual feeling, such as peace and understanding, thus, transmuting the negativity. In the same way, the three wise men signify, gold as celestial good, frankincense as spiritual good, and myrrh as natural good.
This awareness, sorry to say, comes with adult age. Our midlife crisis begins for everyone between thirty-seven and forty-four years old, depending on the year you were born. The changes made then, affect the rest of our life. Those changes might be structures built during our Saturn return, which happens between twenty-eight and thirty-one years old. They might have been times of success, the time in which those self-image patterns became embedded as our sense of self. Those patterns are being destroyed. Yet, those vibratory patterns hold the structures of the outer world together. Those patterns, as our feelings, hold circumstances in place. Conjugial love holds the Universe in place, and our goal is to blend them together.
A conjugial love experience cannot take place until after those patterns have been built into solid substances as tensions and frustrations. Those substances become structures that form the physical body after midlife, which is when the physical body can now hold the “tone” of the vibration of the spiritual body. Think of it as striking an object, whereas, it is only a solid object that can begin to vibrate. The vibration of spiritual love, is felt after spiritual regeneration begins, and after the body is solid, which is only after midlife.
Thus, “before anyone can be regenerated he must be supplied with all those things that can serve as means. Not until a person has been supplied with these he cannot be regenerated. These are what constitute his food. This explains why a person is not regenerated until he has entered adult years” (A. C. 677, Elliot).
So, whatever feeling the latest music videos are talking about, it is not the same spiritual feeling of conjugial love that I am talking about here. There is no overdose as a comedown at the end of this feeling. This feeling of conjugial love, is eternal.
Let us be clear: turning twenty, thirty, and then forty, all have their individual utmost significance. Yet, we need to understand that if we want enlightenment, then we have to live long enough to obtain it. Sure, we can die young and go to sleep in heaven, but we are training ourselves to survive physical death by staying awake. We are talking about the spiritual concept of “survival.” We cannot die, we are immortal.
Science has misunderstood Astrology, assuming it is about predicting outside events. It is about predicting inside events by analyzing outside patterns that affect the spiritual development of an individual. Astrology can be used to analyze anything that has an exact beginning in time. Thus, “stars and constellations denote the knowledges of truth and good” (8902).
In esoteric astrology the Sun is called the “Collecting, or Collective Intelligence” (P. F. C. 191). It retains our experiences by collecting the atmosphere of itself, back into itself. Thus, “the 'sun' signifies love to the Lord and charity toward the neighbor” (2495).
Since science does not believe in spiritual things, it is difficult to understand spiritual forces as fields of love that operate as the unseen vibrations such as the sound of the planets. The seven major planets correspond to the seven major bodily organs as the reflection of the macrocosm, “as above, so below,” presented by the journey of the six pointed star, known as the “shield of David.” Thus, “six circles, tangent to a central seventh, is a key to the construction of the cosmos” (P. F. C. 6).
Science analyzes outside patterns and projects them into the future to predict an outcome. Astrology analyzes inside patterns that can effect thoughts and feelings, in an attempt to form these patterns into clearer images. Thus, “Divine Love and Divine Wisdom is the universe in greatest and least, and in first and last things, that it may be said to be Divine Love and Divine Wisdom in an image” (D. L. W. 52, Ager).
Science can create artificial intelligence, but it is only Consciousness that can create another “image” of consciousness, by a multiplication and division of the One, into the many. Thus, “the Lord's presence is made manifest everywhere by the three elements — love, wisdom, and service, manifest as warmth, light, and an atmosphere that carries it to heaven and from there to the world where we are” (D. L. W. 299).
We tend to think that when something is successful on the physical plane, it must be good. To determine the difference between good and bad, requires a tacit perception. Yet, we need to develop the spiritual sense, to determine what is good and true. When consciousness has the ability to determine what is good and true then conjugial love will again be felt, since, “revelations are from perception” (5121).
Yet, anything can be bad or corrupt, if the intention behind it is for selfish ends. The less selfish the less corrupt. Science could be thought of as having lost its way, because it had been influenced by wealth. Yet, science needs to help mankind develop these spiritual senses, for us to determine what good and truth really is. Mostly, we intuitively perceive what is good and true as a revelation. Thus, “it is by means of cognitions that a person is made human” (1616.3).
To be “made human” is to be able to perceive the spiritual life essence of our inner self. It is the oneness feeling of celestial good. Conjugial love is the perception of the Divine Name as the four-fold pulsation of Divine order, when we are being made into a spiritual church, being made human by the “cognition” of our spiritual life.
The psychic perception of conjugial love first flows through the body, and thereby, further births the realization of it flowing through everything. It imbues the ability to radiate or project that spiritual love to others. More splendidly, to be able to send that spiritual love as a sensual essence to others. The inner friction transforms our sense of self and begins to feel as One mind and One body, as the Divine Human Essence.
In this exalted state as a realization of Oneness, all sense of selfishness gets removed. We no longer feel separate from others, our thoughts no longer harbor hatred. We thereby, are freed from our own self-limiting hereditary evil, our so-called “evil.” It actually weighed us down as our old sense of self. Yet, the feeling of oneness lifts us up. The celestial feeling of conjugial love is the lifting-up motion that we desire.
When physical reality no longer pulls at us through the feeling of the mass mind, we no longer harbor the feelings of greed, or plan our accumulation of things. We are instilled with a higher sense of usefulness as the feeling of service to others. In this sense, a company like Facebook would become non-profit, thereby, bettering humanity, instead of itself. Nothing really changes regarding the economy, but everyone benefits. This is what happens with spiritual force. Yet, wealth should follow the same spiritual laws as order — use it or lose it. We want a spiritual feeling that attracts Unity, and not an afterlife of regret, all because of how we made our living.
Therefore, “to the extent that those things belonging to the external man are joined to celestial things belonging to the internal man perception grows and becomes more interior. Conjunction with celestial things confers perception, for within the celestial things dwells the life itself of the internal man. This presence is not perceived in the external man however until the conjunction has taken place. All perception is the result of conjunction” (1616.2).
Chapter One: Our Inner Crow
While writing, the book The Feeling, I wanted a book that contained no fear; so anything to do with evil, hell, or negativity, I made a note of it, but put it aside. When I had finished writing it, I had enough material about fear, to write a second book. The problem was, I did not want to visit the spirits of hell to write it. Then, an acquaintance that I had known for about thirty years, who was taking illegal steroids, turned on me, with such a diabolical verbal assault, that I hid away for the next two years and wrote Love & Light. It was a journey into the diabolical hell and back to experience what someone like my friend must feel, to “subdue the diabolical spirits, and liberate the faithful from their assaults” (8261).
While writing Love & Light, I made notes about the deeper aspects of conjugial love that I could not yet understand at the time, but I ended up with enough notes to write a third book. Yet, once again, I felt I was finished with writing, since this book would indeed just be more content for Google Search engines. I will probably never witness any material gain from this effort, but now I accept it. However, I put my notes for this third book aside, to think about it for some more time.
While having a summer break from writing, I was disturbed by the squawking of the crows hanging around the high-rises of my residential neighborhood. I began by writing a letter to Jake, a neighboring building manager, to get a woman to stop throwing peanuts out of her window. The crows would swarm and squawk at her window from sunrise to sunset. A year later, after ten letters to five of the neighboring buildings, the peace still was not restored.
All the people feeding the crows were the most selfish sneaky individuals that I had ever encountered. I had never met a more deceitful inconsiderate lot of humans. One woman who was on her building's strata council for twenty years trying to resolve their own crow problem, was actually driving around her building early in the morning, throwing bird food out of her car window. I guess, she liked to watch the birds from her living-room window. Yet, with the food being on the road, it meant that the crows got chased away all day long by the cars. I guess, fun to watch.
The reason this is important is that crows represent the most selfish aspect of our human nature, as our love-of-self, as those without a conscience. “Crows (young), or Ravens, signify natural man, who are in the thickest darkness from fallacies concerning divine truths, of which quality are many of the Gentiles” (Ap. Ex. 650).
Our feeling of self-love, is represented by the deceit of those without a conscience. This book was motivated by trying to understand their intention. The “crow people” represent purely materialistic humans, who have become deceitful, and have “fallen into an infernal and diabolical Own through the love of self and of the world” (256).
As an astrologer, I have dealt with every kind of person; but the “crow people” would all be on another list, the psychopathic-liars list — those without a conscience. Therefore, rather than get involved with this type of deceitful person, I decided to write this book instead. Here Swedenborg explains our evolution from an expression of this selfish deceitful nature. “People's faces in our world in ancient times were under the influence of the cerebellum; at that time faces behaved in concert with a person's inner affections. Yet, later on the influence came from the cerebrum, when people began to lie and show in their faces pretended affections they did not feel” (E. U. 88).
The first one-hundred of the most common first-names in our English language have a propensity to be too diplomatic; and their politeness makes it impossible for them to see their own falsity. Someone who acts nice, but actually hates you, creates this dual psychic message. The subconscious mind does not know how to respond to a false message, which suggests two different things. It ultimately accepts it as a suggestion, but then causes you to run into that person repeatedly, because you are telling your subconsciousness that you actually like them, by acting as if you do. Humankind is totally living outwardly, without any knowledge of our feeling that we are creating, which blocks our ability to know what is true.
The selfish deceitful inner crow has led to the lack of integrity in law, and the cause of all fake news. Thus, at one time, “lawyers searched the scriptures and taught how they were to be understood” (A. E. 536). Now, lawyers represent the colon.
The crow people are diplomatically dishonest and good at it; but you cannot tell that to someone who knows one. They would say, “oh no, he is the most honest person I know.” By the way, Donald Trump is not on my list, which does include the names of many people around him. So, I see why he calls everything fake news.
Even a very intellectual name like Barack 2 7 9, is the same vibration as the word honest 2 7 9, which is a diplomat (2) in service (9) to always saying the right thing. His name gets him so concerned with being diplomatic and appearing ethical that he could never really tell you the truth, certainly not to your face; to his wife he could definitely tell her the truth about you. We could say that diplomacy, is dishonesty.
Let us go back to the deceitful nature of the “crow” people. Most buildings have a no-bird-feeding by-law. The “crow people” hide their actions, resorting to sneaky tactics to not be caught. Their dishonesty creates a brooding meditative feeling, which keeps them from perceiving the feeling of mutual-love, loving their neighbor as themselves. Thus, never know ing spiritual love, only pretending to know.
I am sure city by-laws were never meant to cause someone to lie, and thereby, lose their faith. Consider the feeling of letting your dog run-free in a leashed-only area, or the sneaky feeling of jaywalking; all of these infractions can lead to harboring an inner psychic feeling that blocks spiritual perception. The next time you break a by-law, ask yourself how can you ever experience a higher vibration of heavenly love, if your actions are causing you to feel more separate from your neighbor. The first step to evolving out of the deceitfulness of our inner crow nature is to understand that by-laws correspond to spiritual values that come from respecting our neighbor.
Using numerology, in conjunction with the English language, is not as revealing as using it with the Hebrew language, where the alphabet also gets numbered. Yet, I will use it to analyze the names of people and places, and you can decide if it has any merit in helping you perceive the feeling of the “church.” Thus, “the most ancient people had their numbers, by which they signified various things relating to the church; as the numbers 'three' 'seven' 'ten' 'twelve' and many that were compounded of these and others, whereby they described the states of the church” (487).
In numerology, the name Donald 7 7 5 , has the number five (5) on the bottom, as in the word King 9 5 5, and Ayatollah 9 5 5, willful and threatening. Yet, there is no perceivable dishonesty, not like the false diplomacy of having a two (2) in your name. However, I would prefer that someone yell at me, than lie to me. Donald's number seven (7) on the top, is an open channel — think of him with love and that is what he will feel. Imagine how easy it would be to bring world peace, if we were actually good.
The number five (5) is the will power, which humans think is personal. “To think and will as a human being” is to use the will for goodness. Thus, “a person is man, by virtue of his being able to think and will as a human being, and so of his being able to receive things that are Divine” (4219).
It is in us to know what is spiritually true. Yet, we must learn to recognize fake news, despite if someone looks straight into our eyes. Lies are fake news as food. Yet, fake food will never give us the nutrition needed to survive the winter, let alone survive our fake death, only to find a life after death. Liars are deceitful people without a conscience, and they are the only ones capable of passing on fake news.
The word Satan 2 8 1 , has the number two (2) on the top, which is wisdom; but this is pure falsity. The number one (1) on the bottom, is that falsity expressed as selfishness, the same as the name Adam 2 8 1, which signifies, “man” (A. C. 4787). Selfishness is the curse represented by our inner crow, and corresponds to the “emotional and cognitive curse” of our hereditary evil, the curse of an ego. The crow people can never change, not without being caught and punished — they just become better liars. They represent the modern-day zombie, still “asleep.” “The curse imposed on Eve means the curse of our emotional sense of identity; and the curse imposed on Adam means the curse of our cognitive sense of identity” (D. P. 313)
Personally, I believe that lying, is one of the most destructive vibrations that humanity has to deal with. The term, “thou shall not bear false witness” is a commandment because the feeling that falsity creates by lying to ourselves, causes all loneliness and stupidity — and then, our feeling of separateness, becomes our protection.
Lying, gives our subconsciousness mixed signals. If we act as if we do not need anyone, the subconscious mind takes it as a suggestion and causes us to be alone. Lying to ourselves, causes the feeling of being separate from others. It projects those false concepts as actual events, in correspondence to the feeling that we dwell-on.
Let me explain further in regard to loneliness. The feeling of loneliness is an illusion, because it is a self-created egotistical neediness created by lying to ourselves from believing that we are separate from others. We are all one, so how can we feel alone? Loneliness, in its essence, is self-pity. It is our self, pitying itself. The feeling of loneliness gets eliminated by changing the flow of love, from selfish love, to a longing for the Lord's love. Ask yourself whose love are you lonely for? Someone else' love? How can you know love if it is someone else' love?
The love that we are seeking in this book, is not a selfish love, which causes loneliness. We are seeking conjugial love, which causes the feeling of love for others. We feel loved spiritually, only when we feel our love for others, go to them and light them up with love. Even from sitting in your chair, it is possible to feel this love flow.
The psychic feeling that results from lying to ourselves, acts as a suggestion to the subconscious mind, which then accepts it and makes it come true. The feeling of loneliness is a clue that we are not capable of being lovable to others. “Crow people” seem to hate themselves, but that is also probably because they are picking-up the psychic energy from their neighbors, who hate them for disturbing the neighborhood. Thus, “evil punishes itself, so that in evil there is the punishment of evil. It is the same with falsity, which returns upon him who is in the falsity” (696).
Love as lust, is selfish love wanting to be loved first. We want to be loved before we can feel love for others. Yet, the word lust 3 6 9 is the same feeling as the Sun 3 6 9, as the solar luminous (3) feeling of love (6) that is used in spiritual regeneration (9).
Thus, spiritual love, is perceived when we feel love as one, and thereby, feel love for others. There can be no feeling of separateness, which is the cause of the feeling of loneliness. We must look deeper into the cause of our own unhappiness, to change, which starts with feeling what is good, and knowing what it true. Thus, the feeling of knowing what is true, regarding “the mystery of God signifies the advent of the Lord, in the opening of the spiritual sense of the Word” (A. E. 612).
The experience of knowing what is true starts the process of the “opening of the spiritual sense.” This is when we can discern what is spiritually good and true; which is when man has a conscience and begins to know what is good, and feels better.
Spiritual regeneration is the gut-wrenching process of aligning our psychic energy upwards and outwards with the feeling of spiritual good, represented by the symbol (+) of the cross 6 5 2. It is the same feeling as the word death 6 5 2, which signifies death of the ego, the process that every human must eventually face, to feel good.
I do not really know many people who have been spiritually regenerated and can feel spiritual good. The only people that I know, seem to be the deceitful “crow” people, who just pretend. Thus, “the diabolical spirits desire nothing more than to find some falsity, in fact it is common with them to induce a falsity from themselves” (1917).
To be a regenerated human being, is someone who can perceive the feeling of “faith and charity” as a spiritual influx, which is when there is no feeling of deceit, about anything. “The internal man is regenerated by embracing the things, which belong to faith and charity, and the external, by a life in accordance with them” (N. J. D. 181).
Regenerate vs. Unregenerate
The difference between a regenerated person and an unregenerate person is that a regenerated person has the feeling of a “conscience of what is good and true” (977). The unregenerate person is without a conscience and goes about their business without any regard for what is “good and true.” Thus, “the natural principle is called just and equitable, which in the spiritual principle, is called good and true” (4167).
Someone feeding the crows might be completely unaware that their actions are upsetting the neighborhood. A false perception of what is “just and equitable” is limited to their identification, which is their lonely personality that is intent on getting its own way. Thus, the unregenerate person needs memory-knowledge, governed by rules and by-laws to keep them from wrecking havoc on their neighbors. Thus, “noise applies to what is disturbed” (375).
Selfishness, isolation, and deceit are the dominant factors of the unregenerate crow people. They are motivated to fulfill their selfish desires, even if those desires get motivated by sadness or loneliness. The crow people build their own psychic patterns of isolation by acting-out their selfish desires, without regard for anyone else.
The feelings of sadness or loneliness have a collective source, in that everybody feels them. However, negative thought only get attracted to selfishness, which is when we do not consider the effects of our selfish thoughts on other people.
The unregenerate deceitful crow people stay the same and never really change, not unless they are confronted by the threat of a penalty or financial fine to punish and force them to change. Selfishness is their cupidity, and they seek to satisfy it despite the harm fulfilling that selfish desire might cause themselves and others.
The regenerated person is growing a conscience, and has an awareness of how their actions affect others, before they take any action. In this state, termed spiritual understanding, one is able to measure the effects of their actions on others. With conscience, one can adjust an action to lessen the negative influence, as we begin to care more about other people. Thus, “conscience is a life according to religious principles, devoted both to faith and to goodwill. The person is just” (T. C. R. 666).
With the spiritual awareness of a conscience, the spiritual self of a regenerated person, has a “new will and a new understanding.” It is an awareness of a spiritual feeling of life, beyond just physical family. A spiritual life is an awareness of how our thoughts get effected by the feelings of others. The regenerated person has respect for his neighbor. They are guided by love, a new spiritual perspective. This love, is signified by the eagle as “the affection of divine truth as to knowledge and understanding” (A. R. 24).
The perception of the “eagle” is our love of knowing. It is the ability to use our will power to modify negative animal desires. Our sense of self-love becomes inwardly still. It becomes obedient to the greater good, which is first spiritual and then celestial. Spiritual good is mutual-love, as our ability to love our neighbor, as thyself. Celestial good is when “the internal man has dominion” over our animal nature and the negative aspects get transmuted as we learn to be of service to the One Reality.
To be of service, is when “the will of one who is regenerated, receives the good of love, and his understanding receives the truths of faith” (9846 Potts). This in-flowing feeling of celestial good, is the “good and truth of faith originating in charity” (977).
The eagle perspective is the feeling of knowing, which is free from the pull of the mass mind of the inner crow, and free from the distracting aspects of our animal nature. In it a new will and a new understanding gets born, and the radiating feeling of spiritual charity gets felt as an influx. Through the feeling of charity, we come to know the feeling of wisdom. Thus, “to ponder denotes wisdom” (A. E. 453).
The unregenerate person has motives that are based on self-love, which regards ourselves (our name) and the world alone. Our conscience is still spurious and false, for the measurement of self gets determined by how much we gain — the end being getting everything, and still being loved. Thus, for these unregenerate people, “the Lord governs by the fame of their name and excites them to doing uses” (D. P. 250).
If you were to do something charitable, but then get on the news to tell everyone how good you are, it is not charity, but self-love. Even a tax receipt, is outer worship, as it takes away the feeling of giving. The sacrificing feeling is why the regenerated man is living, and the unregenerate man is dead.
Being charitable, is briefly being in the will to good, which is a living feeling flowing through us to others. This spiritual feeling is impossible for the average person to experience, because it flows in the opposite direction to the feeling of us getting our own way. Thus, “genuine charity does not wish to merit, for it loves to do good, for it is in it and acts from it; it therefore has an aversion to merit” (A. R. 86).
We are talking about either living or dead. The spiritual feeling of L iving 9 1 1, is the same spiritual feeling as Spirit 9 1 1. It is also, Thou 9 1 1, expressing outwardly as the will to good. Spiritual good, is an all-inclusive feeling of living. It is unlike the “dead” feeling of love, which only includes ourselves, our partners, and our success.
Think of it this way, having a “belief in God unites; and a denial of God separates.” If we apply that to friendships, then “thinking about others, causes presence, so a feeling of love for them causes union,” thus, “presence comes from remembering others, and union comes from a feeling that arises from our love” (D. L. 326).
We cannot love others as ourselves and come to know conjugial love, if we love ourselves more than others, or them more than conjugial love. The will to good, as the in-fluxing feeling of conjugial love, is only felt when we re-direct the feeling of our self-love, to instead love others and to love God. To step-out of our old sense-of-self and come into its “presence,” is by willing spiritual love, by using the spiritual feeling of love to rise-up to experience the celestial “union” of conjugial love.
The Will to Good
Being a success in the outer world is absolutely no measurement of inner happiness. Outward striving is self-love expressing itself selfishly by seeking its own fulfillment, which is always prone to evil. Selfishness is the love-of-self. Swedenborg calls it the “proprium,” which is translated as “Own.” It is our personal feeling of owning and possessing everything, but mostly, our temporary physical body and its personality.
Thus, “the Latin word proprium has been rendered by the expression 'Own.' The dictionary meaning of propius, as an adjective, is 'one's own' 'proper' 'belonging to one's self alone' 'special' 'particular' 'peculiar.' The neuter of this, which is the word proprium, when used as a noun means 'possession' 'property;' also 'a peculiarity' 'characteristic mark' 'distinguishing sign' 'characteristic.' The English adjective 'own' is defined by Webster to mean 'belonging to' 'belonging exclusively or especially to' 'peculiar;' so that our word 'own' is a very exact equivalent of proprius, and if we make it a noun by writing it 'Own' to answer to the Latin proprium, we effect a very close translation” [Reviser.] (131).
We can break-free from our Own, for “man is such as not to be content to be led by the Lord, but desires to be led also by himself and the world, or by his Own” (131). Yet, “man's proprium is, as it were destroyed, when it is vivified or made alive” (731).
The inner spiritual Own, has no outer success needs, it is already full. The Self is already spiritually alive. By reflection, we discover the inner spiritual feeling of Self and its Joys. A joy that is celestial, is the joy of conjugial love. It temporarily relieves all anxiety and concern with the outer world, while still being in it. The spiritual Self is that celestial Joy. It is the feeling of the Divine Name, as our inner spiritual Self.
Our inner crow, as the crow people, are seeking this joy outwardly. The outer self, has no sense of the internal, celestial feeling of joy. Yet, anything physical, which is imbued with this celestial feeling of joy, becomes holy. This holy joy, is imbued into our body during times of reflection. Since, t he outer self, only has a capacity for reasoning, it is the inner regenerate man instead that has the capacity for reflection. I t is by the actual sensual feeling that is created during reflection that bring s forth this holy J oy, which is the feeling of love and charity as conjugial love.
Thus, the feeling of “the good of love is celestial good, which is that of love to the Lord, and the good of charity is spiritual good, which is that of love towards the neighbor” (A. R. 89, Whitehead).
Most of us know the term spiritual good, because we can practice it by feeling mutual-love for our neighbor. Yet, the celestial plane is the feeling of the One Will. It is the celestial feeling of good, which is called “the goodness of love.” Nevertheless, why would someone who is “just and equitable” still need to practice willing, the goodness of love? It is because when we Will love, we actually enclose someone else in our aura of love. We thereby, learn to unite ourselves with the One Will. This is why “a just man signifies, the good of love” (A. E. 695).
We can all feel celestial good. It is the cause of all of our ambitious striving. The difference is the psychic feeling of striving is not the spiritual feeling of willing, but its opposite. Celestial good is the opposite of striving, it is purified of its selfishness. Willing good is love purified. These are not concepts we can understand intellectually.
Our selfish inner crow nature, causes our pain from which becomes sadness, from which our temptation combats get born. Our intellect gets tested and tried as to our motives, while our intention is vivified, purified, and made alive. We are not talking about memory-knowledge meanings to words such as good or bad, but learning to recognize them as feelings, to change our spiritual sense of self.
Thus, “the Lord's divine providence works things out so that what is both evil and false promotes balance, evaluation, and purification, which means that it promotes the union of what is good and true in others” (D. P. 2, Dole).
If evil and falsity promote balance, then by being selfish, acquiring and seeking attention in the outer world has to end in a state of emotional emptiness. It is that emptiness that leads to more intense distractions and a deeper longing. These distractions are temptation combats, and when they are accompanied by anger, the truth gets made evident, as awakening flashes of inner light.
Temptation combats teach us to feel what is good and true. Thus, “the Lord does not let anything remain divided. This means that things must be focused either on what is both good and true or on what is both evil and false” (D. P. 2, Dole).
All outward seeking leads to temptations that become combats. Our intention behind seeking, is naturally, selfish. Selfishness cannot feel the higher states of celestial good, as the goodness of love. Selfishness is temporary, and is evil and false. Thus, “if something is focused on what is both good and true, then it is something; but if it is focused on what is both evil and false, it is not anything at all” (D. P. 2, Dole).
Self-love tends to seek others who express their love for us, but the moment they show disrespect, our love ends, and they become nothing to us. This is because anything that begins from a purely selfish intention, is not strong enough to last. This kind of goodness is felt only for whoever honors us. Anyone who dishonors us becomes our enemy. Self-love gets created because of outward striving. The selfish intention is to feel loved, without first being lovable. Yet, the spiritual feeling of good seeks to give of itself, and it is not an outward action, unless it first becomes an inner object of our seeking. We must first learn to share good, to reduce the pull of self-love.
Thus, “Truths of faith outside of man, spirit, or angel, are not truths of faith, for they have not been applied to any subject, in which they become such. Yet, when they are applied to man, spirit, or angel as a subject, they then become truths of faith, but with a difference according to the states of life of each one” (A. C. 5951, Potts).
Seeking the feeling of goodness is a false concept, since good, is a state of receiving Mercy. Spiritual and celestial states of good, come about by receiving an influx. Good is an awareness of the feeling of love, as an in-fluxing feeling of conjugial love.
The feeling of “the good of love works in a man while he is being regenerated, and disposes the truths with him into order; and afterward, when he has been regenerated, it keeps them in their order. For truths are created according to the whole likeness of good, and according to its every command, Thus, according to everything of love; for good is of love” (A. C. 9846, Potts).
Spiritual good flows in when our psychic feeling of self gets purified of self-love, of its selfish ambitious seeking. After it has been purified, spiritual good can be willed to others. To will good, has its own reward. To know the true will, is to will good. Thus, “Divine love and wisdom radiate from the Lord as a single whole” (D. P. 2, Dole).
We are talking about the feeling of the “good of love,” which is a celestial feeling of love, when it is directed inwards and upwards. It is the feeling of the oneness of divine love and wisdom as an affection of good, as an affection of truth. Thus, “the good that love does, is actually good only to the extent that it is united to the truth that wisdom perceives; and the truth that wisdom perceives, is actually true only to the extent that it is united to the good that love does” (D. P. 2, Dole).
I like to think of good 3 2 5, as the promotion or expression of love; and truth 3 3 6, as the expression of the goodness of that love. In itself the number “three, signifies what is holy” (1709), which is the first number in both of the words, good, and truth. Thus, good and truth are the holy expressions of love and wisdom. Since “Holy is predicated concerning divine truths, hence the church is called a sanctuary, for the Latin word for the holy, is Sanctus , from which sanctuary is derived” (A. E. 204).
Truth, is associated with spiritual light, which is the sanctifying principle that makes something holy, by filling it with spiritual light. Therefore, when we are talking about good and truth, we are talking about the celestial good and the spiritual truth. When they act together as celestial love and spiritual light, they actually lift-us-up and everyone else that we direct that love to. Thus, “three signifies what is full from beginning to end” (5708). That fullness, is the feeling of spiritual light.
Do not try to understand good and truth by their logical meanings as nice and honest . We are talking about spiritual concepts of good and truth. Think of your entire body being full of a brilliant white light. Now, extend that light out as a feeling, and fully encapsulate your sense of self radiating out a meter all around you. By correspondence, this expanded spiritual feeling of self is both the feeling of good and the knowing of truth, which lets us understand the heavenly feeling of the will-to-good.
Good and truth is the feeling of the will-to-good. It is not about being good or bad, or knowing what is a lie, it is about willing good to others. We create this feeling as truth, when we act from good. It is in this spiritual feeling of good that we can act unselfishly, and thereby, can be corrected in our ways. The word good 3 2 5, is love (3) dominating (5). It is the mirror opposite of evil 5 7 3, which is dominating (5) love (3). If you could see someone's intention, then you would understand how someone could be called evil. Spiritual truth is the measure of light, not a judgment.
To be Corrected
I began to fantasize about what it would be like to live where I lived, but without the crows squawking for the human food all day. Crows and ravens are the motivation for this book. They represent our black ness as the “evil” perspective of our ego, our proprium, our dominating love as our selfishness, which is unable to sense spiritual things. Thus, “black denotes evil; especially man's proprium” (3993), as “man's proprium is hell with him” (8480).
The crows had built a nest in the tree in front of my home. This is what happens to our ego when we start to collect memory-knowledge, since the nest represents strengthening our falsity, believing what we see is true. The “crow” represents our false selfish aspect of self, feeling separate for others, and from God. Thus, to “build their nests in its branches, signifies memory knowledges” (55:3)
I could hear the newborn baby crow squawking quietly even while I was sleeping. I had been living on five hours a night sleep for about three months, and the noise began to make me very jumpy, dropping things whenever the crows squawked. I really did not intend to take on the mission to restore peace, and quiet to the neighborhood. Everyone else seemed to like the noise, even survived on it. As the noise of the crows caused the children to cry, the sounds grew louder, and everyone just turned up their music louder. Spiritually, our “inner crow” is our desires influenced by the animals from hell. Thus, “in the hells are dogs, wolves, foxes, tigers, swine, mice, besides poisonous serpents, also ravens, owls, and bats” (A. E. 1200).
Imagine your inner crow perched in the pine tree, and suddenly, now you can see the smaller birds, not previously seen from the lamppost. One mouthful and the whole neighborhood gets changed, as you will never forget the taste. Thus, “the gates to the hells are visible only to the people who are going to enter them” (H. H. 429).
The people in the neighborhood, now went out-of-town to get away from the noise. There is no escaping hell, if you can hear it. If you see it, you can always turn away and not complain. The inner crow represents our bondage to our proprium, to our personality, to our selfishness. We are bound-up in falsity, including eating for the wrong reasons. Our inner crow gets fed junk food as fake news representing mankind's search to be loved. The human crow of pride and self-importance must be sacrificed to break away from the negative influences of the mass-mind. Thus, “they who enter heaven put off the proprium and self-merit” (4007).
I have always loved crows. In fact, my brother brought home a crow with a broken wing when I was six years old. It became my pet, and it would follow me to school every day. I named it Sammy. My mother would say, “Sammy came home for lunch today.” She said she would open the kitchen door and it would fly down to its cage in the basement to eat. It associated eating with being in its cage. It never ate outside until it was about a year old. Perhaps, it was just the fresh corn-on-the-cob.
Crows correspond to our ego, at our most selfish and darkest state of greed and ignorance. To feed the crows teaches them that the universe will not provide for them, which is a falsity based on selfishness. Thus, “to eat and to drink signifies to live to self and the world and to appropriate to self evils and falsities” (A. E. 840).
One day, Sammy met a girl crow. He arrived home late, the bright kitchen light was on, the dusk outside with her softly squawking. I had some food in my hand knowing that I might have to grab him if I did not want to lose him to her. Yet, even the food could not coax him through the door, and off he went. I knew then that crows are just as selfish and lustful as humans are. I still see him in the eyes of every other crow, but mostly, I am very grateful that intuitively, he knows how to fly and survive. Bird-knowledge is divine, for “birds know how, without any instruction, merely from the love, which resembles conjugial love” (6323), in as much as “flying signifies to perceive and instruct, to look out for and provide” (A. R. 245).
Back in my neighborhood among the crow people, I began to find clues as to who was feeding the crows. I noticed the numerology of the name Mabel 6 9 6, was the same as the word crows 6 9 6, which led me to catching her dumping birdseed on the road. I began to understand that the crow people were just immature humans, not yet able to form a conscience. They identified with their shadow or dark side of their personality, since, “black means evil, but dark means false assumptions” (3993).
I have seen the auras of people feeding the crows. They are not able to perceive their own thoughts or feelings. We all have a dark side or shadow self, thus, “if you call a crow black, you are talking about its shadow and not about its real self” (D. P. 318).
The clues that helped me identify some people that were feeding the crows, happened while I was jogging. I would decide to run in a different direction and see a neighbor hiding peanuts by the intercom of his building. The odds of someone coming out the door, meant that the crows never actually got the chance to get near the food; and anyone walking by would also feed them, which kept the crows hanging around the building all day long. I imagine it was because when he came out later to feed them, the crows were right there waiting. Thus, “the ability to justify whatever we please is only cleverness, which even the worst of us may have” (D. P. 318).
Everyone was feeding the crows, including the postal carrier. People waiting for taxis would throw a handful of food, and then leave the crows squawking for more. A new breed of crows, dependent on human-food was being born. These crows believed that peanuts came out of high-rise windows. The mice and rats were flourishing right in front of their eyes. Thus, “mice signify the falses of the sensual man” (A. E. 700).
By feeding the crows roasted peanuts, a new “GMO crow” was being bred. These crows have never witnessed anything getting killed. Their parents got brought up on peanuts as well. The pleasure of the hunt is not something these “fake” crows will experience. “To hunt, signifies, the good of life derived from natural truths” (3313).
Crows can see the truth. When I was six, an older boy pushed me off the swing at a playground. Sammy, immediately flew onto the boy's head and grabbed him by his hair, all the while the boy ran around the playground screaming, as everyone was laughing in hysterics. This was the first time anyone had ever protected (6) me. Who would have thought that my pet crow 6 8 5, would become my willful (5) bodyguard, fiercely loyal, smart and sneaky. The key, is feeding it regularly.
To collect enough evidence to get twelve sneaky neighbors to stop feeding the crows was, divinely inspired. I did not realize that by saying things like, “she was carrying a florescence green bag,” or “he was wearing a funny white hat,” eventually got back to them. This meant that they would have to change what they were wearing and walk a different route, only to find the crows did not recognize them or were not there at that time. I know crows well, because of Sammy 1 7 8. He was only interested in what he (1) could get (8): his “own prudence.” Crows correspond to humanity's love-of-self, the pride of our own intelligence, the result of memory-knowledge. Thus, “the proprium of his will is the love of self, and the proprium of his understanding is the pride of his own intelligence, and from this arises man's own prudence” (D. P. 321).
The reason I am telling you this story is that I am sixty-seven years old now. My father Samuel, was in the hospital for a year before he died when I was two. I do not think that I ever saw him, and I do not recall ever hearing his name while growing up. It was only recently that I realized I had named my pet crow, Sammy, after my dead father, Samuel. I had never made that connection until now. The crows are what motivated me to write this book. Thus, t o hear, signifies obedience. Similarly, “Samuel, signifies, one who hears the Lord and obeys Him” (O. A. S. 1886).
If my mother were alive today, I would like to ask her how she felt about me naming my pet crow, after her dead husband. It was only after I came to this realization about the name Samuel, did all the crows in my neighborhood stop squawking. I admit it took a year of writing letters; but what would have happened if I had made this connection earlier? Why could I not have been corrected by God, sooner? The s ilence has temporarily returned, and our neighborhood has been healed, which is also why “Samuel represents the priestly dignity of God Messiah” (W. E. 6114, Acton).
The numerology of the name Samuel 9 8 8, represents materialistic (8) power over others. Yet, the number eight (8) also signifies “good” (A. R. 739); thus, spiritual good, does not mean trying to act good, but to “hear and obey.” The number eight (8) signifies the “good of love,” as celestial good, or good, purified of its selfishness.
Spiritually, the number eight (8) is a symbol of rhythm. In the name Samuel 9 8 8, it represents material ambition (8). Yet, when ambition gets satiated of its selfishness, in service (9) to the rhythm of conjugial love, the feeling of that inner rhythm, becomes the Word, thus, “Samuel, in a representative sense signifies the Word” (A. E. 750).
The number eight (8) signifies the “celestial class” of the feeling of goodness. To feel it without it calling-up images of sexual pleasure, is why we must first be purified of our feeling of evil, our selfishness. Thus, “the numbers three, six, and twelve belong to the spiritual class, and the numbers two, four, and eight to the celestial class. The numbers, which belong to the spiritual class are predicated of truths or of falsities; those, which belong to the celestial class are predicated of goods or of evils” (10624).
The Inner Dog
The selfish feeling of our inner “crow” must end. Its sacrifice is necessary if we are t o feel the fullness of conjugial love. The inner “crow” must come though the door and into the inner light. Our whole life has been an ambitious striving for some crumb. Our ambitious wanting feeling as the “ambition of Adam” must be sacrificed, before our pride gets exaggerated by the self-importance of our inner “dog” nature.
Let us pretend that I have a white crow. All of its memories would be as a white crow. By being white, it would not fit in with any of the black crows, even as much as it tried to act black. It would feel different from the other crows. Yet, what if we were to paint it black. It would then, now fit-in and feel loved, but it would essentially still be separate. The other black crows would each have their own needs, which would come first, ahead of the mutual needs of the flock. Yet, nothing would be different from the white crow painted black, or the black crows being black, as both colors would have the same false feeling that is only interested in themselves. We would discover that there was not any real importance to our color, or gender, as we are still only interested in ourselves. Our inner “crow” is our self-love distracted by our “inner dog,” expressing as the “ambition of Adam,” as the love-of-the-world.
Our selfish ambition gets inherited. It is the power complexes of personality. “Thus, the ambition of Adam remains deeply rooted in the nature of his posterity, and every one as a son of earth still desires to touch the heavens with his finger” (209, A. K. 11).
With the white crow painted black, it appeared to be invisible now, and thereby, missing from the flock. If some black crows decided that perhaps they could also become white; we could paint them white too. Yet, their memories would still be of themselves as black. Now, they appear to be two-faced to the crows that knew better. They were now, not only selfish, but also two-faced, as white-acting black crows looking for love, but loving only themselves. They act as if they love others, but only seeking to be loved from others, their true black selves lost under a white disguise.
“Thus, ambition obstructs the way to wisdom, and opens it to ignorance; for ambition is conjoined with contempt for all outside oneself, though this is cunningly concealed” (209, A. K. 11, Clissold).
With more black crows disguised as white crows, some black crows want to be different, and therefore, choose to stay black. Seeing the courage of the black crows who decided to stay black, some painted white crows might ask to be changed back to black. Although, they had experienced being white, they were now painted black again. It was from that experience that they realize that the actual feeling of their inner self, whether they were white or black, never really changed. When their inner self became silent, all was one. Thus, “in his own sight he is the all. He becomes angry at every word, which hurts his dignity and glory, while at every word, which exalts him, even if to the stars, he smiles and is in-mostly delighted.” (R. P. 209).
The color black, represents our individual ego, or as Swedenborg calls it, our “proprium.” The selfishness blocks the feeling of conjugial love. All birds represent different aspects of truth. Truth, as spiritual light, is needed to transform our ego from selfish, to selfless, which is a state of being without a separate feeling of self.
Thus, “those who have an immediate perception of truths represented by eagles; those who arrive at truths by a series of proofs, by singing birds; those who accept it on authority, by the pie kind; those who have no inclination to perceive, by birds of night” (T. R. C. 42).
Truth corresponds to the lungs. Yet, because one crow would represent only one lung, all crows signify falsity, or truth falsified. To understand this, we must look at this from a psychic feeling that is blocking the spiritual feeling. The psychic feeling must be purified of its selfishness no matter what our gender. Once the feeling of our self gets recognized as being the egotistic self, represented by the “inner crow,” we begin to understand the feeling of the “ambition of Adam,” as sense distraction.
Thus, “in the animus or common sensory, such ambition is called pride, and in the body, arrogance, which is the effect of the pride and elation of the animus. It shows itself in ridiculous gestures, a supercilious look, the affecting of titles, the pomp of attendants, courtiers, servants, carriages and horses, superfluous adornments of dress, and in many other ways, which provoke laughter.” (R. P. 216, Rogers and Acton).
Swedenborg calls the spiritual self, the beginning of “being made a church.” It is when the selfishness of our inner crow nature, gets purified of its identification and attachment to the lower animal nature, which hinders human beings from being able to feel the spiritual church. The spiritual correspondence to dogs is that they symbolize our love-of-the-world. They represent, “the lowest and meanest of all in the church, also those who are without the church, also those who babble or prate much about the things of the church, and understand but little” (7784).
Dogs are not actually mean, but they represent the attachment of pride that results from our love-of-the-world; just as crows represent the identification of selfishness that results from self-love. Thus, “a dog signifies appetite and desire” (A. E. 455).
Dogs signify the constant selfish distraction that prevents us from ever experiencing the real feeling of mutual-love. Dogs were to guard the inner church of conjugial love. Thus, “a Cerberus is signified a guard lest anyone should pass in conjugial love from heavenly delight to infernal delight, or the reverse” (2743).
The selfish feeling of our inner crow gets distracted by our inner dog demanding to express its ambition of Adam, as its love for-the-world — this is our hereditary evil. The mean dog aspect, represents selfishness and its propensity to distraction . Since, “dogs in general signify those who are in all kinds of concupiscences, and indulge them; especially, in the pleasure of eating and drinking” (A. R. 952).
The good effects of selfish ambition is a feeling that causes the blood cells to puff up. Thus, “ambition gladdens and expands the sensories, both internal and external, the cerebrum, the fibers, the arteries, the ducts, the viscera, and the body. Hence, it is called a swelling, and the man is said to be puffed up” (R. P. 216, Rogers and Acton).
I love dogs. My older brother bought a dog when I was eight years old. It became my pet and lived for thirteen years. It accompanied me to work, but kept mostly to itself. It was never needy. I had to call it to touch it. It was excited whenever I came home, but then it would retreat to its bed. I began to practice meditation when I was about eighteen years old, but my dog would never interrupt me. It is difficult if a dog is always at you, touching you, laying on your lap, or barking for attention.
Dogs represent sense d istraction, which steals our consciousness, away from the awareness of the spiritual feeling of love. The feeling of separation that consciousness senses as a result of the distracted “inner dog” nature of insatiable animal desire, is the selfish feeling of the crow seeking love. It gets distracted through the love-of-the-world inner dog nature of self-importance, and thereby it becomes prideful. Our “selfishness is like a beautiful wax figure filled with rotten filth” (R. P. 216).
Every time someone confirms our falsity, the feeling of truth gets hidden deeper within. Imagine if by writing a book you believed that it only had value if it became a bestseller. Yet, its value as a bestseller might only strengthen the falsity of all the selfish fearful people that are reading it. Dogs, just like people, confirm our falsity by making us think we are right, when actually we are wrong and should apologize. Dogs tend to confirm our falsity, but only because they love the food we give them.
The distraction of dogs, represents our love-of-the-world. It is like drinking alcohol. Distraction lets us believe that we are all right with ourselves — for if our dog loves us, we cannot be all that bad. Partners can also confirm our falsity by agreeing with us; thus, we never mix with people who might disagree, and then never change. Most people cannot change the false aspect of their self, they can only strengthen its falsity.
Dogs represent the “lowest of the church,” as they signify our love-of-the-world as a distraction. Selfish love is the way to keep ourselves separate from others. Yet, we do not need to get rid of our dog — for animals are God's creatures. Our dog nature represents our sense-addiction as a distraction from the awe. The constant distraction blocks the feeling of the inner church, which is being able to will love.
To experience the feeling of the inner church, there can be no competing distraction that reinforces our falsity or pride, which is represented by our ambitious feeling that is attached to our name. Thus, “the impious in heart, who are in dignities, the Lord governs by the fame of their name, and excites them to doing uses” (D. P. 250).
The selfish prideful feeling of our inner crow, unites with the sense-addicted inner dog of self-importance, through money. The distractions created by our love-of-the-world are an attempt to feel loved. Yet, “no one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will prefer the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon” (Luke 16:13).
Sadly, the “ambition of Adam, if perchance it fails of hope and fortune, it falls into childish wailing, or senseless folly, or sickness, or insanity; for the ardor of the animus is extinguished; or else what remains is fury” (R. P. 216, Rogers and Acton).
We must enter the inner spiritual feeling of the church, alone. We must leave behind our name, and our dog's love and support, because we cannot look outside ourselves for love anymore. Spiritual love is the light that we walk into alone, without our name, without our partner or our wealth. We are to become the actual spiritual feeling of Life itself. Therefore, take note, “pleasures, powers, and riches do not hinder entrance into heaven, if only they are not held as an end” (945, 1877).
Money and pleasure as an end, is the dog feeling that occupies the self at the level of personality. Personality needs to experience the perspective of the higher self, as our individuality, for the feeling of conjugial love to dominate in our feeling of self, and to thereby, replace the ambitious dog feeling. Yet, to experience the feeling of conjugial love, we must begin to feel mutual-love for all. Thus, if you think that by-laws do not apply to you, then that is the first clue that your dog nature, is being strengthened by the selfish falsity of your inner crow.
Our feeling of self-love (devil) is called the “old natural,” because it is the feeling of our self that must be changed and transformed while we are still in a physical body. Thus, “it should be realized that it is the old natural that must come to be of no worth, since it is shaped by evils and falsities. Once it has been made of no worth the person is endowed with a new natural, called the spiritual, natural” (5651:4).
When I was rich, I was always thinking of my bank account, even while I was talking with other people. My mind was always looking for something to buy. So for me, money was not a good thing. Thus, “eminence and wealth, or rank and money, may be either blessings or curses; blessings for the good and curses for the evil” (217).
In the restaurant business, one of the first receptions that I organized was a drinking party for twenty-five hundred football players. I made a lot of money in those few hours. Yet, I could not actually understand what it meant to have money, without spending it on something that I could see. As my business grew, so did my possessions. Soon money had no value, other than on paper, unless I could actually spend it. Working long hours made me feel important, but I was working so much that my sixty employees and the hundreds of regular customers became my social life. All of my friends faded into the background unless they could come to the restaurant to see me. I thought I was very happy, in that everything that I imagined seemed to manifest instantly. I felt that I was on top of the world, yet I was still debauching and kept myself distracted by shopping for more stuff. Wealth, without the accompanied “inmost felicity” that we are talking about, is just suicide.
Spiritually, outer success is heightened selfishness. Thus, “self-love and the love of the world present a semblance of life and of joy; but because they are absolutely contrary to true love, which is, loving the Lord above all things and the neighbour as oneself, it is clear that neither of them is love but hatred. For the more anyone loves himself and the world, the more he hates his neighbour and so the Lord” (33).
Esoteric Exercises
Practice #1: Love to the Lord, and Love to the Neighbor
This exercise signifies "praising the Lord," which involves willing "love to the Lord" and then "love to the neighbor." The heart and lungs do this motion naturally, but as a spiritual perception, it would feel just like these images look.
Practice #2: The Seven Days of the Week
The seven days of the week are represented by the symbols for the seven personal planets of our solar system. They signify spiritual states of mind that have a spiritual effect upon us, merely by looking at them. We do not need to know anything about what they mean, for the subconscious mind already knows. All that is required is to visualize them individually on the appropriate day that each symbol represents.
Practice #3: The Morning, Daytime, and Evening States
The morning, day, and evening times of the day, do not quite correspond with Uranus, Pluto and Neptune, but by using these three symbols to represent the Trinity, they reveal an inner spiritual vibration that has a transforming effect on the unconscious patterns that hold us in bondage. The three symbols are the threefold principles that closely represent the divine aspects of consciousness. All three symbols represent spiritual feelings, which can shift the consciousness into a state of being without a separate sense of self.
About the Author
Clayten is a retired Certified Esoteric Astrologer, Numerologist and Mystic. He holds an honorary Masters of Sacred Science and a Doctor of Divinity degree, with extended studies in Spiritual Healing, Occult Psychology, Metaphysics, Mystical Qabalah, Contemporary Spirituality, and Trans-personal Religious Experiences.
Quotes
Spiritual regeneration begins when we can sense the celestial feeling of love in our blood stream as a subtle heavenly feeling of pleasure.
Table of Contents
|
✔ Path of Conjugial Love (Diagram) |
|
|
✔ Acknowledgment |
|
|
✔ Dedication |
|
|
✔ Table of Contents |
|
|
✔ Preface: Conjugial Love |
i |
|
✔ Preface: A New Age |
iii |
|
✔ Preface: Memory-knowledge |
v |
|
✔ Preface: Inmost Delight |
vii |
|
✔ Introduction |
ix |
|
✔ Author's Rant |
xi |
|
✔ Annoying Quotations |
xv |
|
✔ Three Wise Astrologers |
xvi |
1 |
Chapter 1: Our Inner Crow |
1 |
Regenerate vs. Unregenerate |
5 |
|
The Will to Good |
7 |
|
To be Corrected |
10 |
|
The Inner Dog |
13 |
|
2 |
Chapter 2: Mere Copies |
17 |
The Dog Kingdom |
19 |
|
Making Ourselves Less |
24 |
|
Feeling of Eminence |
26 |
|
The Mammon |
28 |
|
Preparation of the Natural |
29 |
|
Three Conditions |
31 |
|
The Search |
32 |
|
3 |
Chapter 3: Redemption |
33 |
Future Cities |
34 |
|
Spiritual Food |
37 |
|
The Flow of Love |
39 |
|
The Human Principle |
42 |
|
Effects of Influx |
45 |
|
Effects of Influx on Identity |
47 |
|
Profaning Love |
48 |
|
Christian Doctrine |
51 |
|
Marriage of Charity |
53 |
|
Justice and Judgment |
54 |
|
Good and Truth |
55 |
|
Rational Mind |
57 |
|
4 |
Chapter 4: Good and Truth |
59 |
Mystical Marriage |
60 |
|
Ultimate Boundaries |
61 |
|
Ineffable Name |
64 |
|
Giving a Present |
66 |
|
Will and Understanding |
67 |
|
Concept of Survival |
68 |
|
Abstaining |
69 |
|
Affection of Truth |
71 |
|
Freedom from Ourselves |
72 |
|
Thoughts from Perception |
73 |
|
Growing Conjugial Love |
74 |
|
Receptive to an Influx |
75 |
|
To Love |
76 |
|
Celestial Love is Within |
78 |
|
5 |
Chapter 5: Age of Aquarius |
79 |
The Lost Feeling |
80 |
|
Honing Talents |
81 |
|
Seven Days |
83 |
|
Empathy is Dangerous |
84 |
|
Communicating Love |
87 |
|
Degrees of Use |
89 |
|
Mind-Chatter vs. Power |
90 |
|
Universal Love |
91 |
|
Self Survives |
92 |
|
Death & Re-Birth |
94 |
|
Rising Above |
95 |
|
Inner Change |
96 |
|
Esoteric Exercises |
97 |
|
Practice #1 — Birth of the Limbus |
99 |
|
Exercise #1 — Love to the Lord |
99 |
|
Exercise #2 — Love to the Neighbor |
100 |
|
Practice #2 — Days of the Week |
101 |
|
Sunday: Sun Center |
102 |
|
Monday: Moon Center |
104 |
|
Tuesday: Mars Center |
105 |
|
Wednesday: Mercury Center |
106 |
|
Thursday: Jupiter Center |
107 |
|
Friday: Venus Center |
108 |
|
Saturday: Saturn Principle |
109 |
|
Saturday: Saturn Center |
110 |
|
Practice #3 — Morning, Daytime, Evening |
111 |
|
The Morning State |
112 |
|
The Daytime State |
113 |
|
The Nighttime State |
114 |
|
Pisces-Age First Names List |
121 |
|
Index |
123 |
|
Abbreviations & Bibliography |
129 |
Books by Clayten
An Introduction to Spiritual Awareness
Read Free Online:
Horoscope Directory | Articles | Numerology | Affirmations | Alternative Healing
The Touch of Livingness
The Divine Feminine restored as the main character in the Creation Theory
Divine Feminine, Divine Love.
Smelling: The Key to Enlightenment
Perceive the Truth by Smelling ... Enlightened by the Spiritual Breath
Spiritual Development, Meditation.
The Divine Human
A Guide to Death and Spiritual Rebirth
Spiritual Development, Death, Rebirth
Good & Truth:
The Art of Spiritual Balance
Spiritual Development, Regeneration, Psychic Development.
The Affection of Love
How to Invoke an Influx of Spiritual Good
Spiritual Development, Religion, Numerology, Metaphysics
The Feeling
Birth of the Divine Feminine
Happiness, Psycho-Spiritual Development, Metaphysics
Love & Light
Ten Spiritual Practices for Attunement
Spiritual, Spirits, Religious Quotes, Color Therapy
Conjugial Love:
Our Path of Return
Self-help, Spirituality, Numerology
Timeless Life:
The 365 Day Self-improvement Plan
Goal Setting, Diet Guide, Manifesting Love
The Great Work:
Obtaining Inner Power and Virtue
Spiritual development, self improvement
The Seaweed Jelly-Diet
Simply Gourmet!
Discover the Secrets to Savory Flavors, Creamy Textures, and Nutritional Weight Loss - Naturally!
- Start your own Specialty Food Business.
The Seaweed Beauty Guide
Simply Natural!
Luxurious, Homemade, Ph-balanced Skin-Care.
- Start your own Skin-Care Business